Why we keep experiencing the same problems
We’ve tried it all, meditation, yoga, healthy eating, going on a retreat, journaling, therapy, reiki, medication, drugs, alcohol...the list goes on and on yet still we keep having the same problems over and over again in our life. What is it we are missing?
After coaching people over the last several years I have come to one awareness: Almost all of us have no idea why we continue to attract the same problems into our lives. We have all tried to add something out there, to resolve our issues and yes sometimes some of these coping mechanisms provide some temporary relief but eventually we all fall back into our old patterns. This was the story of my life for 33 years until I was able to make changes that stuck, with one simple realization.
Before I tell you what that is, there are a few things I became aware of that set me up to make lasting change in my life.
The first was that I had no clue how to actually deal with my emotions. We deal with emotions in four ways:
We always talk about how it is insane that we don’t teach kids about how to protect their credit in school but what is even more damaging, is not teaching them how to let go of negative emotions.
The second fact that I was completely clueless about when in comes to emotions, is this:
Emotions create thoughts and our thoughts create our reality
This is why the old model of developing the proper mindset and positive thinking, just don’t work! If we want to change our thoughts we need to be free of the emotions that created them. This leads me to the third realization that prepared me to finally become free of these negative emotions. The ego which our mind unobserved,has one primary function and that is to keep us safe. This was an amazing tool when we were living in the dirty and running from dangerous animals, the problem is that we no longer need that primitive mind, because we have evolved as a society to live reality free from danger. The ego however is still working hard to keep us safe from feeling any pain, physical and……..emotional! When we feel emotional pain the ego goes to work to create mechanisms, programs and belief systems to make sure we never feel that pain, ever again. These are our survival patterns and these patterns are the reason we keep experiencing the same problems over and over again.
Here’s a personal example: when I was in grade nine I was under attack by grade ten’s that constantly wanted to fight me. The survival pattern that I created was to go into hiding, the less I was seen the less likely it would be that I would have to fight. It wasn’t until I discovered alcohol at the age of 17 that I came out of hiding. Alcohol gave me the courage to be seen again and very quickly I became dependent on alcohol, because it allowed me to feel like myself again. Alcohol was my coping mechanism to not feel the fear that I felt when I was running from those grade ten’s.
Not all survival patterns are this extreme, here’s another example. When I was a kid my father had a very quick temper. Everyone in my family was constantly walking on eggshells to do our best not to set him off. The survival pattern that was created because of this was to make sure I never made him angry so I could avoid conflict with him. This led to the development of a people pleasing personality which created many problems for me in my personal and business life. I believed if everyone liked me, I would never have conflict with them.
So, now that we know that emotions create thoughts, we know how we deal with our emotions and we have learned about how the ego operates to keep us safe, we can now learn how to become free of these emotions forever. Once we become free of an emotion that we have avoided feeling our entire life, there is no need for the survival patterns it created to protect us. There is also no need for the thousand of thoughts we have each day that are connected to that survival pattern and emotion.
Are you ready to become free….forever!
Here it is, believe me it is underwhelming but requires much more effort than these words can articulate to you. In order to become free of these emotions that have created so much suffering in our life we have to go back to the moment we first experienced them and allow ourselves to feel them fully. Here is the crazy part, if we can connect fully and completely to the emotion and allow ourselves to feel it like it is happening all over again the juice of that emotion will run its course in 90 seconds!!! I know you don’t believe it, but imagine for a second I’m right, you could be 90 seconds from a major breakthrough in your life. The next question is, even if you are skeptical about this letting go process, what do you have to lose by giving it a shot?
If you get stuck I’ve released hundreds of pieces of content explaining this process, but I would also highly recommend reading the book Letting Go by Dr. David Hawkins. If you are really courageous or motivated to learn how to become free faster you can also book a coaching call with me and I will not only teach you this method first hand, you will also experience and discover its power for yourself.
.
It’s time to take back your control and claim your power. If you're interested in booking a call with me just click the link below:
We’ve tried it all, meditation, yoga, healthy eating, going on a retreat, journaling, therapy, reiki, medication, drugs, alcohol...the list goes on and on yet still we keep having the same problems over and over again in our life. What is it we are missing?
After coaching people over the last several years I have come to one awareness: Almost all of us have no idea why we continue to attract the same problems into our lives. We have all tried to add something out there, to resolve our issues and yes sometimes some of these coping mechanisms provide some temporary relief but eventually we all fall back into our old patterns. This was the story of my life for 33 years until I was able to make changes that stuck, with one simple realization.
Before I tell you what that is, there are a few things I became aware of that set me up to make lasting change in my life.
The first was that I had no clue how to actually deal with my emotions. We deal with emotions in four ways:
- We repress them: meaning something happened that was so bad in our life and we buried so deep that we can’t even bring it into our consciousness
- We suppress them: We know we feel a certain way about something that we experienced, we just choose not to deal with it. Grief is a perfect example to illustrate how suppression works. We have lost someone close to us and years have passed, one day we are working in the garage and we come across an item that reminds us of that person we lost. Immediately that suppressed grief comes to the surface and our eyes well up and we are about to completely break down but instead of allowing that to happen we keep cleaning to escape feeling that pain, this is suppression.
- This leads me to the third mechanism we use to deal with our emotions which is escape. This is for sure the most commonly used method just take a look at how huge the entertainment industry is. Social media has consumed our lives, all to further prevent us from actually feeling anything.
- Lastly we express them; This mechanism has been deemed productive but this is only true when used in the proper setting such as therapy, coaching or sometimes with a trusted friend that has the ability to not attach themselves to a position. When we express our emotions usually all we end up doing is further fueling them; secondly we also end up dumping our issues on our loved ones and then they become stressed.
We always talk about how it is insane that we don’t teach kids about how to protect their credit in school but what is even more damaging, is not teaching them how to let go of negative emotions.
The second fact that I was completely clueless about when in comes to emotions, is this:
Emotions create thoughts and our thoughts create our reality
This is why the old model of developing the proper mindset and positive thinking, just don’t work! If we want to change our thoughts we need to be free of the emotions that created them. This leads me to the third realization that prepared me to finally become free of these negative emotions. The ego which our mind unobserved,has one primary function and that is to keep us safe. This was an amazing tool when we were living in the dirty and running from dangerous animals, the problem is that we no longer need that primitive mind, because we have evolved as a society to live reality free from danger. The ego however is still working hard to keep us safe from feeling any pain, physical and……..emotional! When we feel emotional pain the ego goes to work to create mechanisms, programs and belief systems to make sure we never feel that pain, ever again. These are our survival patterns and these patterns are the reason we keep experiencing the same problems over and over again.
Here’s a personal example: when I was in grade nine I was under attack by grade ten’s that constantly wanted to fight me. The survival pattern that I created was to go into hiding, the less I was seen the less likely it would be that I would have to fight. It wasn’t until I discovered alcohol at the age of 17 that I came out of hiding. Alcohol gave me the courage to be seen again and very quickly I became dependent on alcohol, because it allowed me to feel like myself again. Alcohol was my coping mechanism to not feel the fear that I felt when I was running from those grade ten’s.
Not all survival patterns are this extreme, here’s another example. When I was a kid my father had a very quick temper. Everyone in my family was constantly walking on eggshells to do our best not to set him off. The survival pattern that was created because of this was to make sure I never made him angry so I could avoid conflict with him. This led to the development of a people pleasing personality which created many problems for me in my personal and business life. I believed if everyone liked me, I would never have conflict with them.
So, now that we know that emotions create thoughts, we know how we deal with our emotions and we have learned about how the ego operates to keep us safe, we can now learn how to become free of these emotions forever. Once we become free of an emotion that we have avoided feeling our entire life, there is no need for the survival patterns it created to protect us. There is also no need for the thousand of thoughts we have each day that are connected to that survival pattern and emotion.
Are you ready to become free….forever!
Here it is, believe me it is underwhelming but requires much more effort than these words can articulate to you. In order to become free of these emotions that have created so much suffering in our life we have to go back to the moment we first experienced them and allow ourselves to feel them fully. Here is the crazy part, if we can connect fully and completely to the emotion and allow ourselves to feel it like it is happening all over again the juice of that emotion will run its course in 90 seconds!!! I know you don’t believe it, but imagine for a second I’m right, you could be 90 seconds from a major breakthrough in your life. The next question is, even if you are skeptical about this letting go process, what do you have to lose by giving it a shot?
If you get stuck I’ve released hundreds of pieces of content explaining this process, but I would also highly recommend reading the book Letting Go by Dr. David Hawkins. If you are really courageous or motivated to learn how to become free faster you can also book a coaching call with me and I will not only teach you this method first hand, you will also experience and discover its power for yourself.
.
It’s time to take back your control and claim your power. If you're interested in booking a call with me just click the link below: